Life {re}Defined

...is one of the greatest fallacies ever perpetrated upon women, the family, and upon humanity, and is one of the biggest lies put in the mouth of God by His followers and anyone else.

And no wonder, since it is a notion essential to the undermining of Divine personal worth, the institution of marriage, and society in general.

It is amazing to me how many of us have been so well programmed that we can read a paragraph that clearly says,"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it"...

and no matter how many times we look at it and reread it, what our brain sees is...

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is ahead/better/smarter/more Divinely favoured than the wife, even as Christ is ahead of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be under their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, and in payment you get to do whatever you want whenever you want with impunity."

What is the difference between the Truth and the lie? There is a huge difference. What God is saying is simply that wives and husbands should love each other to the exclusion of others, and that women are wired on a conscious level to do this by giving all of themselves only to the man they are married to and that men are wired on a conscious level to do this by being willing to protect his wife with his life. You see, a woman can know that she is completely and truly in love with a man when she gives him all of herself: her heart, her past, her present, her future, her pain, her joy, her masks, her friends, her hopes, her dreams, her tears, her fears, her triumphs, her failures, her bare naked uncosmetized self. And a man can know that he is completely truly in love with a woman when he knows that he would die to his ego and to himself and even physically for her without hesitation.

So God is simply saying the same exact thing twice, "Love each other completely" but He is saying it in the language that each gender understands. Isn't He wise?

Now let's take this a step further and see how dangerous the concept of "the submissive wife" truly is...

First, let us assume that no husband is perfect. So now if a wife is truly submissive, then she would have to actually withhold her gifts, talents, advice, wisdom, intelligence, insight, experience, and her Divine connection from her husband. And in so doing isn’t she actually allowing or even creating opportunities for her husband to fail on earth and eternally. You see, the submissive wife is actually doing the exact opposite of what God wants her to do: she is withholding herself instead of giving all of herself.

God is not a respecter of husbands and not of wives. He did not give men both the brains and the brawn, and leave the woman as the pawn.

But here is what I don't understand. Why would any sane man be interested in having a submissive wife? If for no other reason than the selfish reason of 'not wanting to mess up', a man would -out of the need to survive- accept all the help he could get instead of just help washing his socks. Why would a man who is not proud and who does have self-esteem and self-respect want a wife who will tell him only what he wants to hear and stroke his ego and does what he wants even if it is wrong?

My wife and I and our children sat down and talked about these issues before we decided to get married. I shared with them that I had no intention of marrying a submissive wife and that in God's dictionary(the only one that counts) there is actually no such thing because "submissive" and "wife" are mutual exclusive words. She shared with us that she would never think of marrying an unprotective/unloving husband. My wife freely gives me the good news and the bad news, compliments and criticisms, praise and correction, acclaim and admonishment; she communicate with me. She gives me the Truth when I need to hear it, not if and when I feel like hearing it. I am her head and so I use that vantage point to watch out for her and protect her and she makes sure that my head doesn't get too big for my helmet of salvation or so small that my helmet falls off. She is the heart that pumps blood into me and our children and gives me all the nutrients with which God has blessed her.

My wife and I Love each other in the Biblical way and we wouldn't have it any other way.